Natural Hair Wahala

Nne, that is how I carried myself to join #curlgang O. Afterall, Cynthia did it, Kaka followed, Tola even has a blog now. So, kini big deal ?

Week1: It’s one week after I would have gone for my two-monthly touch-up ritual but I ain’t having any of it. I decide to do million twists, so that daily combing doesn’t remind me of all the reasons my folks thought it wise not to let me see my natural hair.
I’m pleased at the thought of hiding under this for another three weeks, if my scalp would let me.
Month 1: Taking out the twists one week short was probably not a great decision, but I had some help, so …
Month 2: Still co-washing and conditioning and braiding (without extensions) and trying to measure my undergrowth with my finger span. I can’t take out all my hair at once – it’ll be a nightmare to comb through. So I wash with the braids still in and rebraid in sections.

Month 3: In the spirit of transitioning, I do my first big chop, still wondering what consumed and directed me to undertake this journey entirely by selfcare. The hair oil shelf is now my best friend. Youtube must be to blame …

Month 4: Chop, chop, chop.
Who send me sef ? Just as I’m contemplating a return to my royal straightness, then comes this fantastic invention of man ; a mirror.

And in an instant, my fingertips lose all their soreness, for there it is – two inches, for all my labour in the curl struggle !

Your future boss has fears – allay them!

When the conversation of job searches and employment comes up, much is said about the anxieties faced by the job seekers as they struggle to prepare the perfect CV, answer interview questions perfectly, make the perfect impression, and secure the perfect job. But, how about the fears of the prospective employer?

 
Making the right hiring decision has become tougher for the Nigerian employer. Yes – there are some that act like they are doing you a favour and utilise every opportunity during the recruitment period to treat job seekers poorly, demonstrating a high disregard for you and your time (You probably don’t want a job with them anyway). But for hiring managers that have openings for careers that will involve development, career progression and an all-round rewarding employee experience, selecting the right candidate is a complex process.

 
First, they put out an application, and when the entries come in, they have to filter through hundreds of applications with irrelevant experiences and qualifications to identify those with the right profile for the job. Lesson Number One: Please do not apply to openings that you don’t have the requisite qualification for. Your resume will just be one more time waster. And although companies rarely ever have the time to blacklist applications (they just toss them out), don’t underestimate the power of automated filtering technologies and vindictive HR personnel.

 
Next, after selecting those with the right profile, interviews will be conducted. Best practice during an interview process involves multiple interviews (between 3 and 5) with managers and directors the new employee will have to work with when hired. These senior staff have to make out time from their busy schedules – for some companies, this involves travelling out of their base to work with the recruitment timing – to interview. This is time that would have been utilised driving operations, growing the company’s sales or delivering profit to the company in some other way or form, but recruitments are also important. Some candidates may not show up (and fail to provide sufficient notice to reschedule), or show up completely unprepared, thus irritating these senior staff and thus blocking chances of getting hired. Lesson Number Two: If you have been scheduled for an interview and you cannot make it due to one reason or the other, provide notice of not less than 12 hours. If you are running late (a situation which you should avoid), send an apologetic text or put a call through so that your interviewers can plan appropriately.

 
During the interview process, one concern at the back of the interviewer’s mind is whether the candidate can do the job well. If the role is entry-level, the concerns are further heightened by the fact that the candidate probably has little experience. The interviewer is also thinking about how much (in terms of money and time) it will take to get the candidate up to the level of capability required to do the job, and wondering if this investment will be wasted if the candidate decides to leave the job shortly after gaining the requisite skills. One last (usually overlooked) consideration that is boggling the interviewer is what the impact of this hire will be to their work reputation. A bad hiring decision can be costly to the interviewer, as the company and their peers will question their judgement. This is clearly a risky endeavour for the interviewer.

 
So, what can you do as a candidate, to allay the fears of your future boss?

1. Be quick to demonstrate your capability through your past achievements – Do not answer interview questions on your abilities with simple, one-line “Yes I can sir/ma”. Follow up with an example of how you have done so in the past. Where you do not have actual experience, use a related example. Do your research on the capabilities required for your role in the company, and be prepared to talk about the education, experience, exposure you have that equips you to deliver well on that capability. Some of these capabilities are industry-based, and there are also standard capabilities such as Teamwork, Communication, Project Management, Problem Solving that you must be able to demonstrate your capacity to deliver in.
2. Show your boss how beneficial an investment you will be – If you have experiences that demonstrate how quick you are to pick up skills or how fast a learner you are, share them. If you have taken courses related to the skill in question or built skills related to the one you will be asked to demonstrate, let your interviewer know.
3. Let your boss know you are in this for the long haul – Use questions such as “What are your goals? / Where do you plan to be in 5-years’ time?” to show you understand what the growth trajectory of your focus role will be, and that you have a long-term view to this opportunity. Answers implying that you are not sure whether you really want to be in the role or that you are still feeling your way around will raise flags with your interviewer.
4. Convince your boss that you are valuable to their organisation – This is where your fact-finding and prior research about the organisation comes in handy. There is one type of job candidate an interviewer cannot resist, and that is one who can solve their pressing problems. Use informational interviews with people in the organisation/industry to understand the expectations of your role and the type of tasks you will be tackling, and share how you have handled similar tasks in the past. You don’t need very specific or confidential information about the company to demonstrate this – in fact, sharing too much about the company can be risky for you as the information might not be completely accurate, and you might come across as a busybody of sorts. If you are not able to get enough information about the kind of tasks you will be handling, you can showcase your mastery of a few hot skills that make you attractive to any kind of employer.

Why your uncle who promised you a job after graduation now refuses to pick your calls

Every now and then, you hear of a Nigerian youth who is mad at their uncle/parent’s friend/elder brother’s friend because they promised to hook them up with job opportunities after graduation, and have now gone into hiding. Most young people do not know what to make of these broken promises, and have become bitter. Now I do not know you, and I do not know your uncle, but I know one very strong reason why your uncle is dodging your calls.

He doesn’t know what YOU want.

I know many undergrads (and I did this as well), who during the congratulatory graduation chats answered the question of “Now, what kind of job are you looking for?” with “Any kind of job will do.” This kind of answer confuses even the most well-meaning of people. Any job could be a blue-collar job like facility management, or an administrative position, or a personal assistant, or an executive. It could also be in any industry – and there are myriads of industries. It could be a full-time job, and it could be a part-time job as you may have plans to run a post-graduate degree or a significant enterprise alongside your work.

Your uncle will surely back away in fear that he might waste his goodwill in helping you secure an interview that you do not show up for because “This is not the industry I am interested in”. Or that you may report him to your parents out of offense that he set you up for a job interview for a role you believe is beneath your standards. And here is the biggest issue with “Any work will do”…it simply gives the brain no place to start. Your uncle is most likely not an undergraduate recruiter and thus has no clue what your expectations are for the job market. Trust me – three years in any workplace, and you will have lost touch with the career expectations (salary, progression opportunities, etc) of an average fresh undergraduate. So where does your poor uncle (who is probably 5-10 years in) want to start from?

Dear Nigerian graduate, your uncle is not a professional recruiter. Help him to help you by being clear about what you want. Have your pitch ready at all times, and let everyone around you (parents, dog, pastor, neighbors) know who you are and what you want. Even the most shady of uncles will remember your pitch when the hour arises, if it is crystal clear and it fits into a need.

Is your low self-confidence getting in the way of securing a good job?

When preparing to search for a job, the popular advice follows the line of searching the dailies for job opportunities, fine-tuning your CV so it stands out, preparing to answer the most popular interview questions, and selecting the sharpest-looking outfits. However, these tasks do not cover the most important task of all: working on your self-confidence.

How secure are you in your abilities? Do you believe you have the qualifications to be the best candidate for the job, or are you convinced the company will be doing you a huge, undeserved favour by offering you the job?

Growing up in Nigeria, majority of us had our confidence chipped away at every stage of our growing up. We were called silly for our ideas, told our plans were not good enough, had every unique idea or suggestion questioned or talked down, or shamed for going with our beliefs. Some of us came from backgrounds where no one expected anything good to come out of us: our parents told us we were mistakes, our teachers spared no opportunity to let us know how empty our brains were, our older ones laughed at every misstep we made, and our peers pointed out every physical or behavioural flaw they could find. No matter how tough-skinned one is, these kinds of experiences will erode one’s sense of capability over time, and a person that has all the competence will freeze when given the opportunity to demonstrate, believing they are not good enough.

This low self-confidence is very detrimental during the job search period, as if not handled will cause loss of attractive job opportunities, or make one settle for a career that is less than one’s capabilities. When you have low self-confidence, you will clam up and stutter in interviews at questions you know the perfect answer to, display more nervousness than is beneficial to you, and find yourself begging for a job that your employer should ideally be begging you to accept based on your level of competence.

So, if you have recognised you have low self-confidence, what can you do about it, and how can you prevent it from getting in the way of a good career?

First of all, tackle the issue at its root. The first step in solving any problem is acknowledging its existence. Admit that you are lacking in self-confidence, and that you need to correct this issue so it does not hamper your career efforts. View this as a serious concern, so that you can muster the energy to take the action steps to resolve it.

Secondly, you must align yourself to the right thinking on your purpose in life. No matter what the circumstances of your background or life are, you must realise that you have greatness in you. All of humans do – we were made in the image and likeness of God. Not only that, we were given the mandate to have dominion – to be fruitful, multiply, replenish the earth and subdue it. You are powerful, more powerful beyond your wildest imaginations. And you can do anything you set your mind to. You have been programmed from birth with the same capabilities that men and women who built empires, developed extraordinary inventions, designed life-changing technologies and shaped the course of history. And there is no stopping you. No matter what the world has said and is saying about you, you can make it. Spend time reading about the histories of the greats – Thomas Edison, Helen Keller, Abraham Lincoln, Colonel (founder of KFC), George Washington Carver, and a host of others that arose from humble, belittling backgrounds and circumstances to become people of renown in our world today.

Next, dedicate yourself to a daily action plan to cure yourself of low self-esteem. There are different action plans that might be time-based e.g a 10-day action plan or a 21-day action plan, or may just involve imbibing a new set of habits. But these plans always include the following:

• self-affirmation: words have power – the power to break and the power to heal. Utilize the same power that reduced your self-confidence to where it is today, to restore it. Get a set of positive self-affirmation quotes and repeat them daily. Here are some examples (many are available online):
  I love my life: I choose joy, love and freedom.
  I master new skills with ease and perfection: I attain mastery in every area I set my mind to learn in
  I fully accept my self and know that I am worthy of great things in life
  Mistakes and setbacks are stepping stones to my success, because I learn from them
  I easily find solutions to challenges and roadblocks, and move past them quickly
  I feel successful in my life right now, even as I work towards future success.
  I love meeting strangers, and approach them with boldness and enthusiasm
• taking inventory of your accomplishments: sometimes, the reason why we forget how able we are, is that we simply lost sight of our abilities. Make a list of your accomplishments. Do not focus only on the big ones like graduating from school, but note times also when you helped a younger one or a peer accomplish something, or the part you played towards a larger goal. Study this list from time to time to remind yourself of how much you can accomplish, if you set your mind to it.
• learning to celebrate yourself: there are few things that boost one’s self-confidence such as hearing the words “well done!” or “great job!”. If no one will congratulate you, congratulate yourself. Celebrate your victories, small and great. Reward yourself – no matter how little – when you accomplish a task that you have been working on
• setting some small stretch goals: our self-confidence is bolstered when we accomplish goals that we felt were too high for us as a point in time. So get into the habit of ‘accomplishing’. This can be seemingly little things like washing all the cars or dishes around you within a short period of time, or reorganising your personal space, or it could be something as significant as volunteering at a major event, or completing a workout plan. Start small, and keep going, but make achievements a regular feature of your life, so that your personal mantra can shift from “I can’t” to “I can”

Also, surround yourself with positivity. While you are working to build your self-confidence, cut off all flows of the kind of talk that created the problem in the first place. Avoid certain social gatherings where need be, and break off certain contacts as the need arises. Where you cannot avoid direct contact, make engagement minimal, and replenish your soul after such contact with self-affirmation.

Keep building your self-confidence till you are convinced you can do absolutely anything. Let it shape how you describe yourself and your abilities. Move from saying “I think I can” to “I know I can”, and watch how the world makes space for your to demonstrate who you truly are.

Fun without Traveling this Christmas

Image Courtesy Pottery barn.com

It’s the season where you get to spend money without regret(initially) till January hits you and you wonder why you had to go and do that😊. Well if you do not have the opportunity of traveling during this period there are still some pretty fun things to do like going to the beach with friends, go kart racing, a visit to an amusement park, going on a cruise where you get to have lunch or dinner aboard the ship, or going to a resort where you can relax. All this are various ways you can spend his season and not feel so guilty of having spent so much in January.

Now the trick to this is going together as a group, why you may ask! That’s because you tend to pull resources together as a group and in essence spend less than you would have if you went alone. You can get discounts as a group for boat cruises and the likes.

All in all the most important thing about Christmas is sharing your time with your loved ones, family and friends alike. It’s a time to thank God for each other and for the good health you all have received from God through out the year.

So as we all celebrate Christmas wherever in the World you are, just remember the main reason is to be joyful and create beautiful memories you will remember in ages to come. Have a Very special Christmas.🌲🌲🎅🎅

 

My Hairstyle, My Christmas

One of the best part of Christmas is having a beautiful hair style on. I remember when I was younger, having a Christmas hair was a thing. My mom will drop my sister and I at the salon for our hair to be neatly done.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

My mom would have booked with the salon lady some days before, sometimes even weeks, because the salon is always overbooked at this time. Everybody had to have their Christmas hair done. My sister and I will choose from a variety of hair styles from the brochure the stylist provides, from braids to weaves to Ghana braids to gel-packing or stylish weaving. Most kids loves gel packing, it makes them look like their favorite fairy-tale model. I remember I always wanted braids and I would want my braids in red and gold colors because as a kid, I saw Christmas as a time to do something more beautiful than the regular, a time to shine and glow because in my head my hair is black while stick to black braids. What’s the fun in it will be my thought.

Now as an adult, the uplifting spirit of Christmas still stays but now I keep my hairstyles simple. The highlight however is I change them everyday.  Everyday something new. Today I’m with a Top-Knot style tomorrow   I will be with an up-do or a wash & go or probably a twist out. Its just like having a present everyday for Christmas, the curiosity of opening a box, that’s the excitement I get from gifting myself a new look everyday. I have learnt that our hair is like fashion it makes you very creative, you tweak it here and there to turn it from one style to another.

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

As an adult, I see Christmas as a time to be versatile with my hairstyles.

What does your hairstyle, your Christmas mean to you? Share your  thoughts in the comment section.

 

To love or not … Part2

Guess who I met at the buka yesterday?

Yes, I like food.

I had just picked my tray of sizzling hot amala with ewedu and was trying to find a nice corner close to the fan when a set of white blocks intercepted my vision. My subconscious told me the smile was directed at me so I refocused and right there before me was Kilian!

My hostility must have been apparent because the smile vanished and was quickly replaced with a somber look. Then he moved closer to me and said, “I don’t know what you’ve heard, but please, I would appreciate if you at least listened to my side of the story.”

Something about the look in his eyes told me I may want to hear this, and being the gist minister that I am, well …

“So I’m sure your friend has told you that we broke up.”

Ehen?

“Do you know it was on my birthday?”, he added with a twisted smile.

That I did not know. Eyebrows raised, I nod him on.

Apparently, Selena had gone out of her way to set up an elaborate surprise, getting him a gift set of musical instruments. They were to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown and she planned to present these gifts to him. However, Kilian had  thought little of this particular birthday and did not show up all ‘dressed up’ for the event.

This upset Selena, because she had ordered a standby photographer, and intended to use the opportunity for some social media flaunting. She therefore ‘ordered’ him to go home and get changed, to which he wouldn’t budge, and there started the hot exchange of words.

She called him an ingrate, told him he embarrassed her, and slapped him. Thankfully, he had pulled her to a corner earlier on, so there were not many witnesses to the shameful scene. I listened on, doubting the entire story, because I was sure I knew Selena to be so much better than that.

Then, he said, “I guess my response was borne out of a lot of anger I have been nursing. You have no idea how much hurt and how many insults I have had to put up with in this relationship. When we were just out of school, there was a day I got home and my wardrobe had disappeared. Because my clothes were not befitting for their daughter’s fiance. Even a watch my mother got for me out of her sweat and toil had been thrown away because ‘there was no way that thing could tell the time correctly anyway’. But it was my watch; my mother gave it to me and I cherished it so much. If anyone felt they needed to improve my wardrobe, I should have been consulted. Her parents told her I was ungrateful and she’d better leave me for the more eligible children of their friends. There are too many of these episodes to recall. I bore it all in silence because of the love I had for her. I thought after going through all that together, we would be strong, but I didn’t know she shared some of their sentiments too. I’m not a materialistic person … see what I’m wearing even now.”

I look down at his loafers – no news there.

I look back up at this guy’s face and try to fish out a hint of falsehood. The plain eyes staring back at me seem sincere enough. Actually, they look worn and laced with grief, and I can argue my last piece of ‘pomo’ that the corners are glistening.

“I still love her you know.”

 

 

MORAL OF THE STORY

Hear both sides before concluding. Always assume bias from either side

Each person in any given circumstance sees things from a different plane of logic. Don’t assume concurrence unless stated or implied

People present different sides during different interactions. The lion you know may be a dove to someone else

Matters of the heart are difficult to judge and best left with minimal third-party interference

Perhaps more to learn? Share your thoughts please!

Who really cares?

When the going gets tough, who would really stand for you?

It’s a popular saying that family and friends are your support structure but, are they really? My opinion is people tend to be there for you when it is rosy; however, when you are saddled with lots of challenges, that’s a true test of relationship. Irrespective of your emotional investment in such relationships – blood or friends, individuals tend to think of Self first, while a little percentage of the population would consider you first in some situations.

I am not an exception to the rule, but I can say in countless occasions, I have considered my family/friends first before me. But, as life unfolds, I am beginning to see the need to consider me first in all situations before anyone, because in the real sense, all humans are selfish.

One major event that happened to affirm this new mentality was when I needed funds to start a new phase in my life. Being Miss Independent from an early age has made me extremely conservative, especially when it involves asking people for help. Rather, I choose to be at the giving end. In addition, my many emotionally invested relationships boosted my confidence that obtaining funds which would be returned afterwards wouldn’t be a problem. I wish..😂😂😂.

Let me run through some of the outrageous responses I got. One person, took her time to listen to my story and found it hilarious – I mean, she was laughing at my ordeal. Certain people promised to assist, and when the time elapsed, they stopped picking calls nor responding to messages.While others promised to assist and at the required time, changed it on me. Furthermore, some were interested in what their benefits would be, and some didn’t care if there was a need or not as they had their own issues to deal with. How ironic! Majority of these people have benefitted from me in one way or the other. But what do I know, because you help people when they are down doesn’t mean they would help you in your down moment.

In spite of all these negatives, there are still a few who stood by me and are still standing with me. They are called “The Angels”. Irrespective of the fact that they didn’t have to support me, they went ahead to ask others on my behalf while others gave what they could afford. This kind of people are the true MVPs and should be kept close.

Welcome to the story of Miss Independent with a large circle, but miniature help.

What are you doing to save our world?

The clamour about climate change has been a global effort, with so many world leaders calling the attention of organizations and the public to participate in reducing the impact of climate change that is being felt all over the world. Yet, some people are of the opinion that climate change is unreal and they have no role to play, leaving the responsibility to world leaders and major organizations. There is no doubt that climate change affects everyone of us, and we all have a role to play to combating this.

Before we go any further, you might have been wondering, what does climate change mean? Climate change, as the name implies, is the change in the weather pattern of different regions of the world. This phenomenon is natural, but human influence has led to the rapid decline of our climate. Activities that increase the volume of carbon dioxide and greenhouse gases in the atmosphere contribute greatly to impacting our climate. These activities include: burning of fossil fuels – which is burning in general – which releases carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, cutting down of trees that are meant to absorb the carbon dioxide from the atmosphere. Methane- a green house gas that emanates from decomposition of waste in landfills amongst other sources – is one of the major sources of damage to the ozone layer.

Evidence of climate change can be seen in the growing incidences of global flooding which has led to loss of lives and properties. In addition, we now experience extremely scorching hot weather or extremely cold weather in many regions. We are also no longer certain on what turns the weather will take – this unpredictability in weather patterns is also attributable to climate change.

So, what can we do to minimize the factors that result in climate change? Seemingly small actions such as turning off electrical appliances when not in use to not buying products from companies that have not adopted sustainable energy policies in their production process can make a difference. Choosing to ride a bicycle (which does not require burning of fossil fuels) or simply walking can be beneficial to saving our environment. Planting a tree could also help, and we can consider the option of planting flowers if trees sound overwhelming. What about our waste? Let us strive to reduce the amount of waste we generate by buying only what we need or opting for reuseable items rather than the disposable goods that end up in our landfills. In addition, we can recycle our wastes by turning them into other useful materials, thus minimizing the waste burden on landfills.

This is our world, and if we don’t take care of it, who will? Stay tuned to thegreenchic for more ways to protect our world.

Ten reasons why your hair is breaking or shedding

Photo by Moose Photos on Pexels.com

Hair breakage moments for me are equal to killjoy moments. Losing that length you have tried so long and so hard to achieve could really be a pain, and yep, I have been there. The struggle is very real! I’m sure you can relate, and that is why I’m sharing with you factors that cause my hair to break, and what I do to avoid them:

1. Dryness: To avoid dryness, keep your hair moisturized. Hot oil treatments help in avoiding dryness (check out my  previous post on how to do hot oil treatment).
2. Not consuming enough proper nutrients: Zinc for instance plays an important role in cell growth. Proteins make the hair shaft strong. Eat meals packed with vitamins. As the saying goes, when you eat well you look well and besides, you are what you eat.
3. Over-processing your hair with chemicals: I noticed my hair strands get thinner and break off easily when I used relaxing creams twice a month. However, when I reduced usage to once in three months, my hair thrived better and breakage was minimal.
4. Using a lot of heat: What do you think would happen to a shirt you iron everyday? Exactly! The same thing could happen to your hair, when heat is applied regularly and without care. Heat, when not used with caution, could be disastrous to our hair. It is advisable to apply heat protectant before putting any heating appliance(s) to the hair. Secondly, on days when you are not in a hurry, you could dry your hair naturally (using sunlight or natural air).
5. Using cotton pillow cases: Here is an experiment you should try out: put water on a cotton material and then put some on a silk material, and check which absorbs water faster. No wonder towels are made of cotton, because they absorb liquids fast. In like manner, a cotton pillow case will sap all that moisture from your hair leaving it dry, and girl you know what dryness can lead to – breakage! Cotton material can also cause friction to the hair, which increases wear and tear. Use silk pillow cases or silk bonnets to protect your hair’s moisture levels.
6. Improper combing of the hair: How do you comb your hair: from the tips to the root, or from the root to the tips? If the latter is your style, you need to change your style. Care and gentleness always wins. When you comb your hair from the tips, you save yourself from a lot of breakage, as there is less tension and pressure on the hair. You can also finger comb your hair first, to avoid losing your precious strands.
7. Leaving your split ends: Once you notice split ends on your hair strands, let those frail ends go because split ends means the ends of the hair are dried and will get easily tangled up, thus leading to the hair breaking.  Try to trim your hair at least twice a year to get rid of any split ends.
8. Not using protective styling effectively: Protective styling is good, but only if it is done right. Protective styling like braids and plaits are a means to save our hair from constant manipulation and allow length to be retained. However, if they are done too tight, they can tug on your hair shaft and eventually pull it out. Most times this starts from the edges of the hair and continues through the rest of the hair. Ensure braids and plaits are kept as loose as possible so this does not happen to you.
9. Over manipulation: With the excitement of having a new style everyday, or trying on a new conditioner or hair treatment today, tomorrow and every day, comes the risk of hair breakage. It’s good to switch up your look and try new things, but do not over do it – allow your hair enough breathing time in between each change to recover and strengthen.
10. Low water intake: this is important for not just your hair, but your total well being. Your hair benefits from your drinking water, it rises and shines. When your water intake level is low, you could start to experience weakening hair shaft and subsequently hair breakage. You could set up an alarm to remind yourself to drink water regularly during the day, especially if you are like me 😉

Have you ever committed any of these hair breakage-causing crimes? Share in the comments below!